We haven’t had a regular jobber in years – they were a common sight in the 80s and 90s, with the likes of Barry Horowitz and ‘Iron’ Mike Sharpe, but these familiar losers seemed to fade away. Occasionally over the last few years, local competitors have briefly shown their faces on Raw and Smackdown, just to be decimated within minutes, and they never seem to get that call back.
The plucky journeyman is a trend that we’ve seen re-emerge slightly in NXT over the last few years, with the likes of Angelo Dawkins, and Tye Dillinger before he became all ‘perfect’ (and let’s face it, his win-loss record hasn’t improved much since then), yet I think it is about time these tenacious enhancement talents made a comeback on WWE’s red and blue flagship shows – and I know just the man for the job.
When he was separated from his Wyatt family brethren during the brand split in July, Braun Strowman’s first victim on Raw was an unfamiliar face: he wasn’t particularly good looking; he had a body worse than your dad’s; his chin looked like a tiny set of hairy testicles; and of course, he had two fists. Despite his lack of victory, the whole world instantly fell in love with him; even Vince McMahon and Chris Jericho were singing his praises backstage. The internet exploded with memes and photos; everyone was talking about James Ellsworth, and I was no different.
I can’t even explain why I love him, but I do. I’ve seen plenty of local competitors come and go over the years, but Ellsworth just seemed to stick with me, so when he appeared on Smackdown with his hand extended out to AJ Styles, I exploded with excitement. He played his part so perfectly – he was that guy in school that all the naughty kids had to work with when they were talking too much (that was always me by the way). Also, seeing his face on that match-up screen along with AJ, Ambrose and Cena made me giggle uncontrollably (and still does).
So, is that it for the man with two fists? Just a couple of appearances and he’s done? Well, I really hope not.
Now, I’m not saying you need to hire this guy to a full WWE contract or put a title on him, but Raw and Smackdown definitely needs a little injection of Ellsworth. James Ellsworth could definitely be the new Gillberg, someone that started out as a joke, and then went on to be the longest reigning WWE Light Heavyweight Champion of all time (not that anyone gave a single shit about that title anyway), despite the fact he never got a single clean victory.
Seeing that little odd looking face occasionally popping up out of the blue will put a smile on every single viewer’s face. He would never have to win, he wouldn’t even have to get the slightest chance of any offence in on his opponent, and the people will still go crazy for him. And after so much punishment and loss, can you imagine how much the world would react if Ellsworth got a surprise roll-up victory out of nowhere on a big WWE star, just like Heath Slater did on Seth Rollins back in 2014? Even Stone Cold would be jealous of the pop that would receive.
How great would it be to see that little dad bod randomly appearing in the middle of the Royal Rumble match next year, only to be immediately eliminated by a man twice his size? What’s more, he would be perfect as an assistant; someone’s little bitch to order about, to occasionally compete in their place, and to generally just be the sponge for abuse and violence. I could easily see the likes of The Miz or AJ Styles bossing this little, testicle-chinned guy around, and it would be non-stop entertainment guaranteed.
For someone to make such a big impact in such a small amount of time and with so little actions, there must be something special there. I am under no illusions that Ellsworth is suddenly going to have a decade-long, legendary run in the WWE, and his popularity may just be a quick fad that will fizzle out within a few months, maybe even a year if he’s lucky, but as we know, any man with two hands has a fighting chance to get himself over.